You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize