He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
