That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
