Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Every concussion has its silver lining
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
