I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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