What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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