If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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