Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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