better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
