Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
