So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
