Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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