Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
