I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize