He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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