how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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