it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize