in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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