take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
