im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Every concussion has its silver lining
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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