he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
