Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i think i just lost a toe
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
