these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
please don't ironically join a cult
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