I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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