return my video game
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
