I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How does it feel to date your dad?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
