blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
