Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
