You made me cry and you don't even care
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
