i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
