No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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