DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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