my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
