I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
