it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
