You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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