I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
