please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
