recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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