You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
