Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
