I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
