dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
