I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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