Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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