I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
