I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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