Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
