I heard we made out
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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