big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
