Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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