jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
