There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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