i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
