Ambien. No doubt about it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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