direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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