Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
