very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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