so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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